Second Guessing

I've been absent for a while.  Maybe you've even noticed (thank you for noticing!).  It's been tough to keep up with this blog, and each time I thought I could get back into the swing of things, life got busy again.  Not awful things, but things that should rightfully take some time away from a hobby, even if you love it.

I have been testing for the AREs, my architectural license.  During breaks between studying, I've so enjoyed the free time that I haven't wanted to be sitting in front of a computer screen.  I'd catch up with friends, have weekends with E in NYC or MD, I'd see my family, and hear stories from my nephews that made no sense.  Just when I was beginning to breathe again, I signed up for another test and started studying again.  Any time spent away from studying feels like cheating.  It's not like I wasn't scrolling Instagram way too often, but blogging felt so much worse- selecting a recipe, buying the ingredients, preparing and photographing the food, editing the pictures, writing the words...  I could justify taking a break to vacuum my apartment, but blogging felt sinful.  Also, that week right after testing when you should feel the weight of the world lifted, is actually spent worrying about the pass/fail verdict coming your way.  I didn't want to write something, apologizing for being absent to take this test, then discover I'd failed it and have to admit the failure.  I know, further proof that internet life isn't real life, but it's hard to own up to failure.

And then there's another big one, I've been trying to reduce sweets in my diet.  I decided chocolate bars were the only sweets I could have, and it's ridiculous how quickly that changed things up for me.  I'm still like an addict, craving sweets like a physical pain, but then I'll eat them and they'd be this sugary, floury, pale imitation of what I actually now wanted- pure, actual, chocolate.  I'm not always as successful with sticking to this, but my kitchen hasn't had a rotating tray of cookies and brownies coming out of the oven for a long time now.

So suddenly I have nothing to photograph.  I've felt a bit lost, honestly.  No more awesome cookies churning out of the kitchen, and my dinners are roasted veggies and chicken.  There are plenty of recipes for those online, and seriously- turn on your oven, mix up cut veggies with olive oil and seasonings, bake.  I felt silly posting recipes for stuff like that, and it seems I accidentally found myself in the early adoption of the NotRecipes movement that Food52 got behind.  (They even started an app for it, ugh, wish I had thought of that first.)  It seems more often my meals are on the side of "Not Recipe", where I prepare a few ingredients then combine them into an epic bowl of things (rice, chicken, beans, avocado, tomatoes, plantains), or my dinner is just roasted sweet potatoes, a green veggie, and some chicken.  It's gotten pretty boring from an observer's perspective, but my grocery shopping is super easy and pretty cheap.

So I still have some recipes I want to share with you, I have more newborn photos from my friends, I have pictures from New Years, NYC trips, a vacation to Colombia, and a few other moments I'd love to share, but I'm just taking a step back.  Also, there's still that problem of having a couple more architecture tests to get through.

So I'm reassessing.  Figuring out how I want to proceed.  I'm totally drawn to the "Instarecipe" series that Izy has going on over at Top With Cinnamon; she posts a picture of a meal that really doesn't need a lot of guiding, and gives you the break down of how to make it yourself.  It's totally in the same vein as the Not Recipe movement, and I want to play.  So thank you for your patience, thanks for still reading along, and thanks for letting me study and focus on some other things for a bit.  I feel better now that we've talked.

As always, you can follow along with me on Instagram (mccindy620, and introverted.explorer are both me), and the Wine and Dine app to see my latest restaurant explorations (mccindy620).  <3

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